Author Archives: Tony

Shenanigans? I Think So

Shenanigans? I Think So

One of my “friends” has apparently gotten me the fantastic honor of being on the VIP list of the Flagship Resort in Atlantic City…

Or so I was told by the woman from said resort who just called me. The woman offered me “2 round trip airline tickets” […] “4 if I could come pick them up in the next four days. She said these were free tickets if all I did was take a ninety minute resort tour where I would learn how to “vacation on just pennies”. I had to inform her that, much to my great sadness, I was completely swamped and unavailable… for the next 5 months. Sorry, but I just don’t believe it.

However, I would like to extend my heartfelt thanks to whichever of you was thoughtful enough to consider me worthy of the VIP list. So, leave a comment if it was you and I’ll make sure to properly thank you*.

If this was a legit offer, well, oops, but if it smells like fish, swims like fish, it’s probably not a block of gold.

*With multiple, swift, bootings to your backside.

Can I Borrow A Grisly Bear

Can I Borrow A Grisly Bear

Yall, if she wasn’t already, the following conversation will push my wife clearly into the “My Husband’s a whacko” territory.

The scene. 01:45, I’ve been asleep for about 90 minutes and am woken up by Treva moving around in bed. In my half-woken sleep, it finally hits me. The reason web accessibility presentations don’t grab people’s attention…

No Grisly Bears.

Me: Hey, do you know where I can borrow a grisly bear? Treva: What? Me: A grisly bear. I need it for web accessibility presentations. Treva (perplexed): Why? Me: Why not? it’s perfect.

I think at this point I mumbled something about feeding clueless developers to it and promptly fell back asleep.

So, who’s going to help me out here?

Helping Family

Helping Family

Normally the posts here are about humorous incidents or contain long
rants, but today I’m coming to you with a serious issue. Late last year
our sister-in-law was diagnosed with Anerexia and Bolemia. She has been at an in-patient facility for treatment for the past three and a half months. Her insurance company has paid for 90 of her required 120 days of treatment, but is resisting the payment of the last 30 days. The facility is fortunately working with her family to help with payment options, but they are looking at several thousands of dollars in
remaining medicalbills. Our family has done what we are able to do to
help, but there are still remaining expenses, so we are humbly asking
for your assistance. We ask first for your prayers for the situation. Prayers for healing and strength for both her and her family. While her time in the program has brought healing, she will face challenges once she comes home and will need to rely on God’s strength. Please also pray that the remaining expenses are covered and that our brother and
sister’s financial needs will be met. Next, we’re asking for financial
contributions. It took a lot for our brother to come to us and ask for
help, and we want to do what we can to support our family. While we
realize that none of our fabulous readers are independently wealthy, if
any of you would be willing to donate the cost of a cup of coffee or a
meal out, it would really make a difference. If you would like to
donate, please click the paypal button at the bottom of this post. We
would also appreciate it if you would spread the word. Thanks for your
prayers and support. We are greatful to you all.

(If anyone would prefer to help out and not use PayPal, please contact me at anthony[at]olivero[dot]us. You’ll have to insert the appropriate punctuation marks)





In The Space Ship, The Silver Space Ship

In The Space Ship, The Silver Space Ship

Last night a friend from work, her husband, and I attended a They Might Be Giants concert in Towson.

TMBG, you were fantastic and I very much enjoyed you. Despite my assertion of, “I could do that,” in reference to Kevin Ram’s (I believe) amazing trumpet playing I couldn’t and he rocked.

To the people behind me. Avatars of They was one of the funniest parts of the show. Also, shut up, you’re an idiot. Next time you want to spend money to stand around talking, go to a bar. Some of us actually wanted to hear the show.

Now, for the obligatory YouTube drop-ins.

First for Epi, because she very politely thanked me for getting it stuck in her head, “Birdhouse in Your Soul.”

And the cover from “Pushing Daisies”, because it has Kristin Chenoweth, and my platonic love for this woman knows no bounds.

Finally, “The Guitar” where the title of hthis post got it’s name.

Round is no longer an acceptable shape

Round is no longer an acceptable shape

Maryland is recruiting members for the MD-1 Disaster Medical Assistance Team. I very much want to join the team as part of the communications unit. The position description I’ve found indicates the need to be able to handle “arduous physical requirements. I don’t entirely know what that means, but I’ve got some work to do. So here’s my plan for now:

Step 1: Ride the excersize bike and remind my cardiac system that I know it exists and convince it we need to be friends again.

Step 2: Eliminate the belly.

Step 3 (assuming steps 1&2 haven’t killed me): Build strength and stuff.

Crap this is going to be hard.

Any suggestions from my medic readers what I might expect/need to work on?

Tony the Techie (or how my Colleagues Made Fun of Me)

Tony the Techie (or how my Colleagues Made Fun of Me)

Each year, as a part of my employer’s christmas Party,there is a tradition of singing parody songs about funny/memorable/characteristic things other colleagues have done in the previous year. This year, I got picked on.

Tony the Tech Man (to the tune of “Frosty the Snowman”)

Tony the tech man

Was a jolly techy soul

With a brand new JAWS, and a CD rom and two cell phones in the bowl

Go for a plunger

We need it right away

Check here and there

And at ace hardware, don’t forget about ebay

Flushedy flush flush

Flushedy flush flush

Round the bowl they go

Clickety click click

Clickety click click

Look at that techy go!

If you haven’t already figured out why this was necessary, here’s the backstory.

Some of you know that I can be a terminal clutss. Parenthetically, my Mom would likely attribute this to the fact that I tend to move at warp 3 and don’t always pay enough attention to where I’m going… and she’s probably correct. Sadly, this got the better of me twice, as i sent two cell phones for a swim in the toilet.

The first one was back in March at a hotel in LA. I had tossed a bottle of Coke into the trash can and missed. While leaning over to pick it up my fat belly dislodged the quick release clip on my phone case. It was one of those moments where time slows to a crawl, and you fight the inevitable, but you know no matter what you do, that thing is slipping from where it has come to rest, between you and the top of the toilet seat, and going in. As it is prone to do, time reengages.

*Mad grab for phone. Splash! Explative deleted. yank phone from bowl; shake madly; tear off case; yank battery and SIM chip; out of insane despiration (this was a pricey phone after all) suck as much water from the speaker grill and headphone jack as possible (no, i did not swallow it), thanking God that you hadn’t just contaminated the toilet prior to this incident; rip the hair drier from the wall, turn it on high and blast the phone for 15 minutes; After a while, give the unit up as lost and scour the convention for a dealer selling new units; strike out; IM spouse from the hotel bar and say you’ll be out of contact for a while; bang head against wall; borrow demo phone from employer for trip home.

Fortunately, the phone actually survived. I powered it up the next morning after flying back to Baltimore and things worked again.

The second time, with my iPhone, I was not so lucky. Basically this time it slipped out of my hand while I was trying to answer a call and shot behind me into a toilet at work. This time I was not so ready to admit it to Treva, both out of self-annoyance and the knowledge that I would quite likely experience a great deal of ribbing. Unfortunately, the 3g radio was a casualty of the water and I had to do an out of warranty replacement (thanks Apple for adding that option and not making me suffer the full cost of replacing the phone).

So that’s what lead my wonderful friends at work to sing about me. Oh, you can all thank Treva for this post too. ??

Entertaining Christmas Songs

Entertaining Christmas Songs

In addition to the usual Christmas hymns and carols I have, this year, gotten a few songs of the more entertaining variety stuck in my head. I present them for your [a|be]musement (you decide).

SpongeBob “Don’t Be A Jerk (It’s Christmas)”. Advice many of us could use.

“Merry Swiftmas”. Evan asks Santa to bring him Taylor Swift for Christmas.

“I Want A Hippopotamus for Christmas”. This has always been one of the Christmas songs that makes me smile. It was a ringtone for a while on my phone.

“Dominic the Italian Christmas Donkey”. On our way to a staff picnic I was discussing the previous song with a coworker who turned me onto this one.

Next post, my favorite hymns/carols.